Weekend watering time…snow edition

snowman

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Hi there!

Friday again and so far so good with Change 25 – Let go of TV! Well I had a slip up on Wednesday night, I was feeling the winter blues and succumbed to watching my favourite sitcom online to cheer me up. But that’s only one little slip up so I’m still calling this week’s change a success so far.

And that brings me to the weekend, what are you going to be watering? I’ll be watering my sense of adventure, trying new things, a love of outdoors / mulled wine / reading books by the fire, and hanging out with my besties on a trip to the snow for the weekend.

Despite debatable [negligible] skiing / snow boarding talent, I can’t wait to give it a go.

What aspects of your life will you be watering this weekend?

See you on Monday for the final wrap up of Change 25 (I’m counting watching movies on the snow weekend as allowed) and to unveil what Change 26 has in store.

Meanwhile, here’s a few pic’s from the week that was [so far].

M x

week pics 19june13

Hi there!

i'm back

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Well hello! It’s been a while, I’ve been on an unanticipated and unannounced hiatus. But I’m back and I apologise for skipping a few weeks.

Last time we were all about not wishing things were different and that ended up pretty successful as a change. I still trip over myself and day dream and get annoyed wishing things were different but often I catch myself and let go of my expectations things were different. The result? A bit more headspace and a bit less weight on my shoulders and a bit more reality in all its glory! So I’m calling it:

Change 23 – Don’t wish things were different = Done [and to continue]

success

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Since then week 24 has come and gone and with it Change 24 – Clear a closet. Much in the same way Leo has encouraged clearing shelves and clearing surfaces, last week’s change was about applying those principles to the closet. My dreaded space of clothes and chaos. It’s not really that surprising I put my head in the sand and missed this change. I think there really is some weight behind that idea that physical clutter isn’t just physical clutter if you know what I mean.

head-in-sand sign

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Don’t be mistaken, my closet definitely needs a clear out and the steps seem simple enough (split it into zones, for each zone take everything out and sort it into three piles: keep / throw out / maybe, each day tackle a zone) however I didn’t get there. And to be honest, those clear surfaces are looking a bit cluttered. So this is one area of change I need to pay some attention. So with that I’m calling:

Change 24 – Clear a closet = fail [but not forgotten]

Now that gets me to this week’s change – Change 25 – Let go of TV [for a week and yes that includes watching tv shows, movies and the like online]. Leo’s rationale is that so much of our time gets vaporised watching tv that could be spent on other things we really enjoy. Catching up with friends and family, reading, listening to music, creating, even exercise perhaps! So, I’m giving it a go and apart from a few habits that almost trip me up (listening to the news on tv over my breakfast) its going well so far. I’ll report back on Friday.

no tv read a book

[via]

In the meantime here’s a pic from Melbourne’s stunning [freezing] Wednesday.

How do you go with tv time [and letting go of it]?

Nice to be back.

M x

melb winter day18june13

Wishing things were different?

wishing things were different

So this weeks change is don’t wish things were different. Wishing the lights would turn green, that person over yonder would shut the hell up, that you were in a different meeting, a different job, daydreaming about being on a tropical island…I wish things were different a heck if a lot. Little things, big things, it just seems to be part of the chatter of my mind.

And so far it’s been a classic case of noticing how much I do something when I’m trying not to do it. The old chocolate cake syndrome.

trying not to eat cake

So what’s the point of this week’s change beyond realising how angry and day dreamy I am? Well as Leo puts it a lot of our stress, frustration, disappointment, anger, irritation, pissed-offedness [love that word] comes from our expectations. And when things (inevitably) don’t turn out as we expect, we wish things were different. We build these expectations in our heads of what other people should do, what our lives should be like, how other drivers should behave … and yet it’s all fantasy. It’s not real.

So the recommended solution is to take your expectations, and throw them in the ocean.

frisbee into the sea

Specifically:

1. Picture all the expectations you have for yourself, your life, your partner, your kids, your coworkers, your job, the world. Take them from inside you, and toss them in the ocean. What happens to them? They float, they’re carried around by waves and the current takes them out, and they drift away. Let them be washed away by the waters, and let them go.

rita's expectations

 

2. Start to watch yourself during the day. When you find yourself angry, frustrated, disappointed, irritated, yelling at other drivers, wanting to rant online … use these as triggers. They are an indicator that you’re wishing things could be different, that you have expectations of how reality should be — that are different than how they actually are.

 3. When you notice an expectation or wish that things were different … toss it into the ocean.

 4. Practice accepting reality as it is, and people as they are, without expectations, without trying to force people into the containers you have for them, seeing things as they are. It’s a life where you don’t need to be disappointed or frustrated or angry — or if you are, you accept it, and then let it go [gah but I don’t want to!].

Well, that’ s not to say you never act — you can act in a way that’s in accordance with your values, and influence the world, but never have an expectation of how the world will react to your actions.

 If you do something good, you won’t expect praise or appreciation. Let those expectations of reward and praise float away with the waves. Do good because you love doing good, and expect nothing beyond that. [boring but makes sense]

So I’m going to give it a go and good luck if you are too!

How do you manage your expectations of the world?

M x

Wishing Monday away?

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Hey there, how was your weekend, what parts of your life did you water?

I caught up with some if my most favoured and inspirational gal pals, had a stint in the country soaking up a warm fire and a refreshing run through the forest, caught some movies and had a good ol gossip with my besties. Aren’t friends great?

I managed to keep to last weeks change – Change 22 – let go of a vice {keeping my word}. Well, kinda. I didn’t quite make book club as a dear friend was in town (though it ended up being rescheduled so I don’t think that counts). And I didn’t quite make it to rowing this morning when I said I would (too early, too cold). Hmm not over-commiting and following through on your word isn’t as straight forward as it sounds. But I’m going to continue to work on it and think about how to have flexibility and keep your word. So with that I’m calling it:

Change 22 – let go of a vice = work in progress

That takes us to change 23 on Leo’s 52 changes for 2013 and my guide for watering my side of the fence:

Change 23 – Stop wishing things were different [who me??]

More on the ins and outs of this change tomorrow. In the meantime here’s something to ponder…

don't wish do

Happy new week.

M x

Hello…anybody there…I’m back…

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Hey there, how you been?

Well it turns out I took slightly longer than 5 minutes, wrapped up in my course last week discussing what makes a good society [just the little issues].

But the upside was I nailed Change 21 – Flow! And with the experience I’m going to try into apply it more in my work day and generally when I’m doing stuff. More single {focused} tasking.

single-tasking-vs-multi-tasking1

And that brings me to this weeks change – Change 22 = Let go of a vice. Eek no wonder I’ve been avoiding this one.

home alone eek

Where to start…inconsistent exercise or my at times unhealthy food habits, no home-cooked meals, being up late, not enough sleep, impatience, I’m not going to even to go near too much wine.

wine for dinner

But what has come to mind as I reflect on my vices is one which causes me stress and isn’t good form as a friend, family member or colleague – over-promising and under-delivering, basically not living up to my word. This links to something my friend has been talking about- integrity. Following through on your word & being of upstanding character (very Aristotle-esque). Addressing this vice also requires me to take another look at my FOMO and be realistic with what I commit to.

keep your word

So with a smidgent of the week left I’m going to give it a go!

How? Well I should probably have a plan and break it down into steps though I’m not really sure where to start. I figure the first step is to stop. Breathe. And think before I open my mouth and commit to something.

think before you speak

Also I’m going to try Leo’s tips for letting go of a vice:

1. Committing fully for a week. [hmmm well I might just gloss over this one.]

2. Know your motivation and why you’re wanting to give up this vice. [Because it makes me feel bad, contributes to general stress and is not how I want to be.]

3. Know your needs and how they relate to this vice. What need is this vice filling? [see FOMO and a general issue with wanting to do everything and not wanting to let people down.]

4. Have replacement coping mechanisms such as an alternative for comfort or reward if that is the need this vice fills. [hmmm I need to think on this one.]

5.  No exceptions. Ignore all urges to do indulge in this vice. [tough but necessary]

6. Get social support. Join a forum, get a support buddy, ask for help.

7. Delay. If you have the urge to do this vice, distract yourself, take a breath, delay until the urge passes. Rinse and repeat [often].

8. If you fall, get up, and learn from your mistakes.

don't give up

9. THINK POSITIVE. Give yourself a good ‘ol dose of the can-do attitude! [ick cheesy but makes sense]

So with that I’m going to try and let this vice go. Do you have any tips for me or vices you’re tackling?

M x

new way

Monday old friend!

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Hi there, how are you?

I’m off at a course all week discussing morals, ethics and what makes a good society so will be a little quiet over here.

But it is a new week which means a new change. So what will I be working on in the background of all that deep thinking? Change 21 – Flow!

How apt that this week the change is taking 10 minutes out of each day to turn off emails, Internet or other distractions to focus on a task or activity, getting absorbed in it, getting in the zone. It might me work, creative, sport. Something important to you. So with phones off I will be getting absorbed in my course readings and the discussions that take place.

Meanwhile Change 20 – play – had mixed results. Turns out it was harder than I thought to infuse the work day with play. I think it’s attitude that counts though and I’m definitely working on taking a playful attitude into the office [while being professional and competent if course!].

And with that I better get to my course. Have a great week y’all getting your flow on.

M x

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Thursday Thursday

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Hey there, how are you going?

Have you fitted any play into your week? So far I’ve hummed background elevator music, tried different walks on my way to and fro the photocopier and tried to see how many people I could get to smile by smiling at them. I’m working my schedule with reminders in my phone, my imagination is still warming up though – the thought of adding play into my work day has made me realise how serious it is in the office and how variations of the standard behaviour can make you look a bit crazy. But I think there’s scope to get a bit more playful and lighten things up. Maybe I’ll try pretending my co-workers are vampires (how does one actually do that?).

count von count

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Leo wrote this week about the power of a smile to bring a touch of happy to your day. Its so easy to get caught up in the tasks of your day, urgent to do’s and the distractions of being connected. Yet there is always scope to bring a bit of happy to your day, even when things are a bit crap. It’s not about being ecstatic, excited or joyous each and every second of the day [who needs that kind of pressure?]. And it’s not that we can never feel sadness or anger or stress. It’s more that we can bring a feeling of happy, in some form, to our days, even in the midst of stress or sadness.

And how? By remembering to smile. Maybe not every moment of every day, but I do think we can smile more. Even just to ourselves. Apparently the physical action of smiling releases chemicals in your brain and can fool your body into being happy, even if you’re not. [Remember it’s smiling people NOT grimacing]

So I think an extra smile here and there has merit. In line with this week’s change I think there is a fair bit if scope to bring more lightness to our days.

So I’m going to keep chucking an extra smile or two and fitting play into my day.

Meanwhile here is a snapshot of the week for framed Thursday….its been a cold and literary week with a lot of time spent studying over breakfast and after work at the beautiful state library.

🙂 M

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Change 20 – PLAY!

rocketman

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Hey there!

How’s the week treating you? I’m pretty excited about this week’s Change 20 – Play! Sounds fun right? And after a few lack luster efforts with Changes of late I’m hanging for an easy win.

So Change 20 – Play is all about, well, playing. Specifically, incorporating fun, a sense of play, a sense of wonder into your daily routine. Rewinding a few decades where there was mystery, a game, a story around every corner. Nothing is boring or tedious, every task can be turned into a game or at the very least an opportunity to hum a tune!

work play bucket

[this week we’re combining those buckets]

Dubious about how do do it, well Leo recommend’s the following:

1. Pick a 10-minute spot in your workday, and mark it on your calendar as play. Actually, any activity can be play, but we often get bored with work tasks, so let’s infuse play into work.

2. During this 10-minute spot, see what you can do to turn your current work task into play. Leo has lots of ideas: sing as you do it, give yourself a challenge, give yourself points for doing different things, imagine you’re in a movie when you walk into a meeting [I particularly want to try this one, I might get my Erin Brockovich on], dance, see how fast you can do something, pretend you’re a wizard, pretend everyone around you is a vampire, call your co-workers  “Jeeves”, talk to your computer and give it a name [maybe not too loudly], do a victory dance when you finish something [this would be spectacular], pretend you’re new at whatever you’re doing and you’ve never done it before.

This change got me thinking, a song here and there, a fun game to score things at work, pretending people are vampires – completely unnecessary but perspective changing. So hopefully I don’t get committed or fired but I’m going to give it a go!

Because really, we don’t need to be so serious all the time do we?

serious face

[less of this]

playful face

[more of this]

Have a playful week y’all!

M x

Hey there its still kind of Monday…

canoe_hurdle

[its been one of those times]

Hey there, how are you?

Now I’ve been remiss…no post Friday and a post that barely scrapes into Monday. My apologies, I could reel off the usual excuses but lets skip that and look back at how last week’s Change went and then take a sneak peak at this week’s Change.

So last week was about Change 19 – Slow Down. I had moments of slow but on the whole I didn’t go so well. Where I think I went haywire was the first hurdle – schedule.

frankie-diary

[maybe starting May]

You may recall the steps to S-L-O-W-I-N-G down last week was:

1. Schedule

2. Disconnect

3. Do less

4. Be present

5. Breathe

I was too unstructured with my approach and jumped on in with vague intentions and Leo’s steps in mind but didn’t actually schedule a specific time in the day. I vaguely tried disconnecting, being present and doing less when I did remember at some points in the day (generally when I was getting ready for work or commuting). So it wasn’t a total fail but it wasn’t that far away from it. So I’m calling it:

Change 19 – Slow Down = FAIL (and revisit)

It’s funny as I know this would be a really good change to get into the habit of doing and would have some real benefits. Perhaps its a case of struggling with the things we need the most. So I’ll definitely add it to the revisit list and hope that it hangs about in the back of my head.

In the meantime, we are into a new week which means a new change! And Change 20 is one I think I can do, one of the steps requires scheduling so fresh after last week’s efforts (or lack thereof) I’m going to set aside 11.00 each day for this challenge and give it a go. So without further delay I present to you – Change 20 – Play! Now surely that can’t be too hard, can it?

question face actress

More details tomorrow.

M x

Thursday Framed

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[Just cause]

Hey there, how’s your week going?

I’m trying to slow down though this weeks change is coinciding with an intense week at work, so I’m struggling a little and turning into the grouch.

I’ve generally been taking time to make a conscious effort to slow down in the mornings as I get ready and commute to work or when I get out for some fresh air at lunchtime.

Single-tasking, even by avoiding the habit to put my headphones on & listen to music as I walk, has really helped me connect with the day around me and give me a greater sense of peace.

I think the trick will be to try the slow down during the working day and when interacting with others so I’m not so distracted.

Meanwhile, I’ve caught some lovely autumn days, quirky Melbourne street art and my friend Bea is as inspiring as ever and has signed up to live below the line – surviving on only $2 a day. How would you go feeding yourself for a week on only $10? It seems impossible doesn’t it, though its a reality for so many.

So with that here is my week in frame.

See you tomorrow for a change update.

M x

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